A guide for recognising when a decision exists
When a group of people meet to discuss a subject the conversation can feel like it lacks direction. Even when the group wants to take action, it is difficult to identify moments where a decision could be made. Often the language we use hides the fact that we are making a decision by default — not deciding is also a decision.
This guide helps you to recognise unhelpful language and patterns and shows you how to ask the right questions to bring clarity to your discussions.
Print version →The first step is recognising a decision exists. This can be difficult because the language we use mixes decisions with analysis and discussion. A useful definition is:
If you are choosing a path that makes it harder or impossible to go back to or do something else later — you are making a decision.
A decision exists when making a commitment will reduce future options.
The most difficult decisions to identify are the ones that are hidden by unclear or vague language, when we are avoiding being specific. This leads to decision making by default. It is important to remember that not making a decision is still a decision.
| Statement | Hidden decision |
|---|---|
| We need more information before we can move forward | Delay the project |
| We need to make sure everyone is 100% happy with this first | Giving everyone a veto which usually means staying exactly where you are |
| Let's just keep this on the radar for next month | This issue is not a priority |
There are some things that you can look out for which would indicate if a decision is hiding in the room. If you notice some of these signs it could mean that there is a decision that needs to be named and surfaced.
| Behaviour | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Circular talk | The same topic has come up in the last three meetings |
| 'Should' loop | Repeatedly saying 'We really should do something about X' without any proposals for a next step |
| Low energy | The room feels heavy or bored. This is a sign of analysing rather than choosing |
If you have noticed any of the specific indicators or are simply feeling stuck, you or anyone in the group, can gently interrupt and ask a question. The following questions can help to bring clarity to the conversation and bring the focus to what is specifically being decided.
| Question | Explanation |
|---|---|
| What is the actual choice we are making here? | Are we choosing between venue A or venue B or are we deciding whether to have the event at all? |
| If we say 'yes' to this, what are we saying 'no' to? | This identifies which doors are closing |
| What happens if we don't decide today? | This identifies the hidden decision to stay the same |
| What decision are we avoiding? | Identifies what is not being said |
| What information do we actually need to decide responsibly? | Uncovers when we will know 'enough' |
| What is stopping us from making a commitment? | Surfaces what is not being said |
When vague or general language is being used, translate it into choice language as this helps the group to understand what is being discussed
| What is said | Translation |
|---|---|
| This feels a bit risky | Are we deciding that safety is more important than growth today? |
| Let's not rush into this | Are we deciding to wait, even if it means we might miss the deadline |
| We need to explore more options | Are we deciding that the current options aren't good enough to commit to? |
| We need more time to think | Are we deciding that avoiding a mistake is worth the cost of doing nothing |